#7 - Newports
Published by imaG March 14th, 2008 in SRBPL
The late 1950’s through Mid-1960’s wasn’t a pleasant time to be a Negro. Times were hard, the streets were rough. And then came Newport cigarettes. With Newports on the loose, the world was a better place. If you had Newports you were automatically “the bomb” and could enter any conversation with style by using this catch phrase, “Anybody want a Newport?” Rumor has it that the first day Newport’s were introduced to the street, the first cigarette out of the first pack was smoked by Martin Luther King.
Newports have a fresher taste than most cigarettes, the menthol is what does the trick. Even if you don’t smoke Newports, it’s a good idea to carry a pack with you. This way you will always be ready to remedy any situation with a hostile black male or female. In order to handle a hostile situation just reach into your purse or pocket in a non-threatening way, smile and say, “here, have a Newport?” This automatically diffuses the situation, and the Black individual will become friendly again. If they are not cigarette smokers, you’re out of luck.
If you are a Black male and smoke Marlboro Lights, do not let your fellow Negro friends know. If they happen to find out this is completely unacceptable and you will be deemed a sissy or a soft-ass n*gga, and will never live it down. Asking a Black man why he smokes Newport cigarettes is like asking a cat why he meows, you just don’t do it.
One of the greatest sports apparel companies owes its success to Newport Cigarettes. It’s been proven that Black people have instinctual attraction to purchase things with the Newport logo on it in any shape or form. This is why Nike is so successful, and everyone knows that Black people absolutely can’t get enough Nike. They say Newports refresh you while you smoke…could this be the reason Michael Jordan came out at half-time playing even better?
*Note - Rotate the Newport Logo 180 degrees and you have a Nike Check. Offering a Black man a Camel cigarette is the equivalent of spitting in his face and stepping on his Air Force Ones, simultaneously.
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13 Comments to “#7 - Newports”
- 1 Pingback on Mar 15th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
- 2 Pingback on Apr 1st, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Conspiracy theory….Nike symbol on newports hmmm…..lol
lol so dumb.. brions bro smokes these
LOL at the Newports. Everyone black under 60 still smoking smokes Newports.
haireality.blogspot.com
true,theres just something about em
You have a very interesting website. I luv your take on things. I will definitely be checking you out. Now there are some uppity negroes who are going to be offended by what you say so I hope you are prepared for them. Keep doing what you do!!!
OMG!! This was hilarious!! Your outlook on things is so original!! It is so so so so so true that black people love NEWPORTS!! And then the conspiracy that Nike & Newports are affiliated, I wouldn’t have ever thought of that!!! Great!
LOL, This blog is too true and funny. My mother and brother are addicted to Newports. Newport longs to be exact. KOOL’s use to do the job for them. Who would have though it would be a day that a gallon gas would cost more than cigarettes. Now I will never get my mother to quit. She has a new excuse
Menthols are universally referred to as Hommie Smokes.
Hommie smokes are further divided up into age categories:
1) Old school hommie smokes = Newports
2) New school hommie smokes = Kools
There is no deviation from this rule
Kools too.The NIKE thing is so true,omg.This blog is on point.
This site is tight!
Here’s a med fact though since I’m two weeks away from graduating from med school:
Newport cigs and other menthol brands are more addictive than other cigs. A recent Columbia Univ. study showed that people who smoke Newports are up to two times more likely to fail an attempt at quitting.
So laugh but be aware because I’ve worked in city hospitals and the endpoint to a lifetime of blacks loving their Newports is Heart attacks, strokes, and kidney failure (being dependent on dialysis EVERY OTHER DAY in order to live) at a YOUNGER age than the rest of the populations. Which means fathers, mothers, siblings, and uncles dying in their 50s and 60s when they should be celebrating their ‘golden years’
peace
Smoking is bad for your health, and I don’t condone it, but this post is on point about cigarettes and black people.